The Ache

The Ache is still there all the time. I miss my brother so badly. Today marks the 8th anniversary of losing him. I am always so thankful for how full my life is and always has been. God has blessed me with so much and I fully acknowledge that I don't deserve any of it. In all of that fullness there is still a missing piece that will remain until I see him in heaven and his name is Adam. It is weird because not only do I miss all of the things that I know and love about him (there is not enough room in the blogosphere to write them all), but I miss all of the things that never got to happen. I hate that my kids will never know their uncle Adam. I hate that I never got to see him get married or become a dad.
I miss being a big sister. I really miss his stupid humor.
There are no words to describe what a horrifying night that was 8 years ago. So much was taken from us, however I am so thankful for a loving God, a strong husband, and rock solid parents. God has healed all of us so much since then, so much has changed and what a gift Max and Neveah have been. God has blessed us with new life in our family and the joy they brought with them cannot be measured. I am without a doubt still being healed, some days still hurt more than others, but I think it is always going to ache. I miss my tall goofy brother and I would love a hug from him right now.